My initial trip to Colombia started in Panama City, included two fairly quick although obsessively crowded bus rides (is it really necessary for me to stand on top of a 70 year old woman for 2 hours?) to a Panamanian port city named Puerto Lindo and then a 5-day/5-night sailing trip through the beautiful, world-renowned San Blas Islands, all for the pricey total of about $515 for 6 days and 6 nights of travel. Now while I do have a good chunk of change saved up, I’m definitely trying to spread that out for a while. So, instead of going broke buying a one-way flight back to Costa Rica, wasting a week sailing again, or making the grave mistake of passing up a chance to travel the outskirts of the
Darién Gap, Ryan and I took off for Panama City via land… and this is my recap of it all:
September 15, 2011
Our journey began by waking up and leaving our hostel in Cartagena by 5:45AM. This was our first time being woken up by an alarm in 2 months and I nearly cried having to do it.
We hopped in a cab for 15,000 pesos (about $4USD each) to the main bus terminal which is conveniently located about 30 minutes outside the city… perfect. Although our cab driver drove like a bat out of hell we got there late.
Our first leg traveling was a smooth bus ride to Monteria which takes most travelers between 4-6 hours. Since the bus we had intended on taking took off just minutes before we arrived, we (well mainly just me) were forced to barter in Spanish with these creepy private shuttle company drivers. After a few maneuvers by me of having my bag put on top of the mini-van/shuttle and then taking it off again I was able to cut our fair down to 40,000 pesos ($22USD) each, which was the going rate that every other Colombian on board paid (sorry, I’m not paying double to sit on an egg crate covered by a couch cushion). Combining random stops, long accident delays, no less than 150 giant speed bumps the size of small cars, and people excessively trying to sell things to our driver distracting him along the way we ended up making it to Monteria by 3:00PM… 7 ½ hours after we left the terminal in Cartagena.
The next part of our trip took us to
Turbo, a super trashy port town where the road ends in Northeast Colombia. We were told if we didn’t leave by 1:00PM from Monteria not to go to Turbo because traveling at night was not advisable, naturally those warnings didn’t faze me. As soon as we arrived in Monteria, a man directed us straight to a ticket window and ‘Bartering Round 2’ commenced. This went much quicker than the first round and I ended up getting tickets for 30,000.
This second glorified minivan included complimentary green shag seats which I for one loved. All reports we’d heard on the road to Turbo was that it was unpaved and terrible. Now believe me when I say I have been on more crowded, bumpier, colder, wetter, hotter, longer, more dangerous, etc. buses in Africa, but I knew this one was bad when the small Colombian guy next to me looked me in the eyes with a look of horror like someone just forced him to sit down and watch all of Teen Wolf 2.
Once again combining insanely fast driving, potholes, muddy roads
and random cattle drives on the road and it was one of the longest, bumpiest rides of my life. What did save me, however, was going through all the picturesque farmland and small towns… and jamming out to my new
MJ mix courtesy of DJ Chil. As we arrived at around 7:00PM, I had a quick chat with the guy in the seat next to me who led us to a cheap seedy hotel with beds harder than steel. A bed is a bed I guess and I had no trouble sleeping in it after a long day of travel… day 1 complete.
Total Spent (travel, food, housing, etc.) – 113,000 pesos ($62.77 USD)
September 16, 2011
Another 5:30AM wake-up call… Our only travel plan was to take the boat (lancha) from Turbo to Carpugana where we’d spend the night. The ride should’ve lasted 2 ½ to 3 hours and you are required to purchase your tickets for the 7:00AM trip by 6:00AM. So, Ryan and I, still half asleep, stumbled over to the ticket office only to find it closed. After waiting about 45 minutes we finally purchased our tickets and noticed the Colombian Department of Travel had raised the price to 55,000 pesos ($30USD) and oh yeah… it leaves at 9:00AM, not 7:00AM.
So, we wait until 9:30AM (because nothing leaves on time here) to board and end up paying some ridiculous fee for having heavy bags. Rumor had it that at times the waves on this route can get up to 9-12 feet. I wasn’t nearly as worried about this as much as I was having 40 people and some 1,000lbs loaded up on a boat designed to carry less than half that amount. Although the ride was bumpy, I was more concerned with the toddler that wouldn’t stop pulling my arm hair and the horrible seat covering half my butt. About an hour into our trip the boat driver keenly shut off the throttle. Apparently, we had hit a floating tree and badly bent one of our engine blades so we slowly meander to a small fishing village up a river leading into the Darien gap to have a local there beat the blade with a hammer for about 15 minutes until it was suitable to put back on the engine.
Once we were back on our way to Carpugana the views from the left side of the boat were absolutely breathtaking. Caves, waterfalls, perfectly blue water, green jungle and small jagged islands were what our lancha navigated through; and although it was quite bouncy, the ride was totally worth it. Carpugana was much smaller and nicer than Turbo and we were quickly able to get our passports stamped and find a decent hostel for $10 where we shared a room with quite possibly the smelliest Argentinean alive.
Total Spent (travel, food, housing, etc.) – 93,000 pesos ($51.67 USD)
September 17, 2011
Third day in a row up before 6:00AM (just shoot me now). After a night of watching a dance show at a local hotel that unexpectedly turned into a dance competition of 10 year olds more or less humping each other on the dance floor we were traumatized, still laughing hysterically, and 100% ready to leave for
Puerto Obaldia, Panama. I went to the ticket office and again no one is there so fortunately I was able to come back to the hostel and lie down. At 6:50AM I return to buy our tickets and am told “El proximo lanchera va a salir a las siete o siete y cuarto”... “So what you’re saying is that the boat is leaving right now!?” I run back to the hostel, wake up Ryan enough for him to jump outta bed, and we are dressed and ready to go in less than 5. After paying yet another obnoxious baggage fee we find out there aren’t enough people for our boat yet so we must wait until 12:00. After finally taking off we found the ride to me very smooth, scenic trip. Aside from the Argentinean who snuck his way on board smelling like garbage, I had no complaints. Right as we arrived in Puerto Obaldia it started pouring rain so we had the added bonus of going through immigration with our bags sopping wet… yay!!! After completing that mission (sometimes traveling across borders fills like you’re playing Call of Duty), we bypass one nasty $10 hotel without water for another nasty $10 hotel with water but no electricity, I can’t really explain how but this was an upgrade. Two cheap flavorless meals later and we conk out early excited for our easy (wishful thinking) flight to Panama City.
Total Spent (travel, food, housing, etc.) – 36,000 pesos +$22.00 ($40.00 USD)
September 18, 2011
Finally, I woke up to the sound of chickens and children playing and not an alarm clock. The airport in town is just a short walk away and is such a tiny landing strip that you can actually walk around on it. After noticing the flight is already 20 minutes late and we are the only people there at the airport (literally, it was an empty building and us sitting outside of it), I decided to go ask around and found out that the flight which should’ve left at 9:40AM wasn’t scheduled to arrive until 12:00. What does one do when he has an entire vacant landing strip to enjoy uninterrupted for 2 hours? Well, Ryan and I created games such as: ‘Knock-Out’, which is essentially throwing large stones and hitting a plastic trashcan 40 yards away ,’Knock-Over’, which originated in Sweden and forces rival players to knock over 3 giant orange cones with large rocks, and our personal favorite game “CONE,” which consists of us tossing an orange cone into the air in an attempt to have it land right side up on the cement cracks (I’m sure ‘Minute to Win-It’ will be calling to patent these any day now.) We were having a little blasty-pop on the tarmac until an angry man in a yellow Colombian Soccer Jersey yelled at us to stop and weigh our bags.
A $2.00 fee here and a disputed $11.60 baggage fee (which I snuck out of town without paying until they caught me in Panama City) and we were finally airborne by 1:50PM headed towards Panama City. We would later pick up a bus ticket back to Costa Rica and loan $450 to a stranded marine who had just flown back from Baghdad after 14 months to surprise his family who was on a cruise and sadly had his bag with all his money, passport, Military ID, Computer, iPhone, etc. stolen… I guess that’s a whole other story.
Total Spent (travel, food, housing, etc.) – $106.23USD
Reflections
I haven’t really taken the time to document days like this so far so I thought I’d write a few reflections from this trip. First, traveling by buses, planes, cabs, boats, ferries, or whatever else is extremely exhausting and requires a great deal of patience. Sometimes the less luxurious route creates just as many memories as the fancy way. Having someone with me to finally experience border travel with has made this experience so much better. Last, I have a new appreciation for Costa Rica and cannot wait to call it my home for a while. I’m sure you could’ve done this trip faster and cheaper, but overall I’m happy with the way it went.
Total Spent (travel, food, housing, etc.) - $260.67
Total Saved Coming back via land: $254.33 and 2 days.
